Welcome to my third week running! Isn't it just scrumdiddlyumtious?
This time, I would like to share my deepest and most darkest inner thoughts. Well, kinda. I'm going to tell you about my meditation technique. I love the idea of meditation! Sit peacefully and comfortably somewhere, allowing white light to wash over everything, as your body sinks into the plush cushion beneath you and your soul soars across oceans and distant lands.
Yeah, righto Little Miss Ray of Freaking Sunshine.
This technique doesn't work for me. I can sit, shut my eyes aaaaaannd.... that's as far as I get. My brain was wired by a seven year old caffeine addict that stumbled into an Electronics class while looking for the bathroom. Busting to pee and scared out of his mind, he frantically joins wires to circuitboards praying that the little LED at the end lights up, so he can run far, far away... As you can imagine, I find sitting still and thinking about nothing rather impossible. I will try for countless hours (let's be honest, it's probably about four minutes) to relax and repeatedly tell myself, "Stop thinking!" It was the most frustrating four minutes of my entire life!
DISCLAIMER: For all those of you who can persist for longer than four minutes to clear your mind and settle into a meditative state, my hat is off to you! I am fully aware that this technique does not entail telling yourself to "stop thinking." But for the novice who struggles to turn off their little LED, regardless of how many wires they yank loose, these are exactly the words that come to mind.
I have found something that works for me, however. A close friend of mine told me of something called Freedom Writing. I was intrigued. The gist of it is that one can simply sit and write. Anything and everything will do! Just keep that pen moving. "Easy," I thought. I love words, I can smash this sucker out like Donkey Kong releasing Diddy from a barrel. So, I sit down with my trusty pen and paper (there really is something quite romantic about using stationery) and begin to write. PAIN!! My hand cramps two lines in. Words are stampeding out of my head faster than my mortal hand can release them. After less than a minute, I threw in the towel. I've got no time for romance, give me something electronic to get the job done... (blank face)... *nervous cough.*
Laptop! Brilliant. I can type more rapidly than the ink can flow from a pen. Game on.
I sat for minutes on end typing anything that came to mind. "Minutes" may not seem like a long time. But, for me, writing without without active thought is like recounting an exciting (but longwinded) anecdote without taking a breath. I get to the end of a paragraph and can appreciate that my head feels a little emptier. The beauty of Freedom Writing is that it doesn't need to make sense. I don't need to be concerned with spelling, flow, context or (the most glorious part) judgement! Because no sucker out there is going to read it. Probably not even me! Happy Days.
Here's where the deep, darkness comes in. I'll give you an example of what comes out of my brain (this really could go horribly wrong). The following shows what Freedom Writing can provide. Okay...
Blistered in painful dinner trays, she sits and ponders the life she left behond. Will the postman ever deliver the one thing he promised. Two bunnies and a pokemon trumpet can nebver do for a wedding gidt. One must always sign the carn belonging to the oone who wished the best. And she is the best of all as she can see the triumphant queent sitting ona throne of purple steel and that can never ever see the end of time as purple is outdfated.
Right. That could have been more embarrassing (so relieved that it wasn't!) As you see, words can go anywhere they want. You don't even have to punctuate if you don't wish to, nor do the words have to tell a story. You can just write "butter pumpkin broccoli milk fritz" if those are the words that need to get out. You might find that this is the best way to write your shopping list! I find, that the longer I type, the more I learn about myself. If there is something troubling me, it will come out eventually. Sometimes as a discussion, back and forth with myself, or as a twisted and mangled story. Either way, I can reflect on it and explore the areas which resonate deeper meaning for me. One more thing! If I ever catch myself trying to change a word or edit something before it comes out, I check in with it. I drag it out! I don't want to hide from myself. I want want everything out in the open. Complete honesty. It's hard. But fantastic as well!
If you ever get that feeling like your head is so full that you can't even think coherently, I implore you, give this a go! The mess that comes out of my head really makes me laugh sometimes (I mean, come on! Pokemon trumpet? Aces.) Or sometimes I have grand epiphanies that feel like the entire world has dropped away, and I am left here to fully appreciate the simplicity of the moment. It truly can be quite beautiful.
Or if you just need a good Brain Dump... it's the best mental laxative I can prescribe. Sluggish at first. But after a gentle push, it thunders out like the Hulk tearing through a large and heavily populated city, decimating all in his path.
Enjoy your day!