Money. We all need it, use it and (many of us) worry about it. For some, it is just this etherial number system that ebbs and flows in and out of our lives like the tide. For others, it is a cause for great stress and sleepless nights. I'd like to share a few of my experiences with money, and recent conversations about it, with you.
About a month ago, I was having a discussion with one of my bosses about this very thing. He is such an amazingly passionate and positive man. I find him to be such a great leader, inspiring me to examine all aspects of how we, as people, can serve the greater good and bring about a change on a global level. Sounds epic, hey? Frickin' love it. Anyway, he was explaining the concept of how we perceive money. What is it for us? How do we see it? What is our relationship with it? These questions had been playing on my mind for the past month, but it wasn't until the other night, while getting my freedom writing on, that it dawned on me. It is a relationship. In the true sense of the word. And, I'm afraid, I have not been a very good life-partner. The words that poured out of me were that of deepest remorse, for I have come to realise that I have not been faithful.
This is my letter of apology:
Our relationship is failing. However, it is through no fault of your own. Over the years, you have always been there. Sometimes with a generous presence, but most often just to wave as you're passing through. Regardless, you have always been just enough for what I needed.
I remember when I was introduced to a Credit Card. He seemed fun, at first. Saved me in a pinch, or got me something before I gave you time enough to allow me to buy it. But, after a time, I found myself completely consumed by that relationship and I was using you to pay off my debt to him. I know I have never been an addict to that interaction by any means, and I am thankful for the things he has helped me to afford. However, I fear that our relationship, yours and mine, has suffered as a result. I now feel that as soon as you are present in my life, I am just as quick to move you out of it, and then resent you for not sticking around.
Words cannot express how truly sorry I am for how I have treated you. You have always been the one to help me, and you never asked for anything in return. You deserve better. I firmly believe I can be better for you. I want to see you flourish and grow, not dwindle and suffer. I promise to promote your health and wellbeing by strengthening your numbers. I want to nourish you, just as you have done for me. You have limitless room to expand and I want to see you utilise this space.
We can work together, you and I. I know we can reconnect and make this relationship stronger than we have ever been. I am willing to support you during your time of need, and I have been ignoring this need for long enough. For this, too, I am sorry. We are in this together; just the two of us. I refuse to go back to thinking of what you can do for me. From now on, I will work towards making a happier, stronger and more fortified version of you.
I have always taken for granted that you will come back into my life. I just need you to know that I want you to stay.
With complete sincerity, honesty and a humble heart,
I know this love letter may seem a little excessive. I assure you, it isn't. This is merely how I am expressing my thoughts and feelings. Money is energy. We attract it into our lives just the same way we attract certain kinds of people and situations. If I focus on one idea, I can manifest it. If I think all men are arse-holes, I will only meet horrible men. If I think about how fat and lazy I am, scolding myself for eating a biscuit, then I will forever be a fat, lazy, biscuit-scoffing bunyip. And if I keep thinking about how much debt I have, I will never see my bank balance expand into numbers I can't even fathom at this time. So, just to clarify:
We all have the power to generate wealth, and this is not a bad thing! If you see money as this dirty entity that shouldn't be spoken about and only superficial, self-centred yuppies have it, then maybe you have a letter of your own to write.
Let your soul become rich, so your life can follow.
Peace out, kids.