I'm here! Back and ready for procrastinating action!
Actually, this post is a vehicle to get me through, what seems to be, an endless voyage of self-doubt, -hate and stagnation. So, strap yourself in and feel the G's!!
(Somehow, I think it is going to be more of a playful "chitty-chitty" sound like Professor Potts' car. But hey, seat belts are always advised for safety.)
I haven't been so active on the Blog Scene (have you noticed?) and this is basically because life happens. So much life! And brain clutter! All these things that have to be done, and to be true, some of them do. I have noticed that, with all this life happening, my mental space has been filled with creative-fatigue.
Hearing the call to arms recently, with a commissioned chibi portrait of a sweet couple in the U.S. of A, forcibly broke that drought. But the artistic juices were quickly cut off at the source once complete. Here's a picture of that one, in case you didn't see it on Instagram:
Well, I'm getting that call yet again. But this for something I have never encountered, or even fathomed, before. I have been asked to make another portrait of not just one or two people, which is the most I've ever drawn, but twelve people. Yep. Epic. Not only this, but it has been discussed and requested that I make it in a style that is completely foreign to me.
Rather than my faithful, and very comfortable, chibi-style artwork, this client has asked if I could learn to draw more of a manga-style. I immediately felt resistance because it is so unfamiliar to me and, I believe, a more precise art form. Chibi is cute, it's fun and playful. There is something very serious about manga. However, after much back and forth discussion, I have taken this client's request on board.
I would like to add that the client isn't in the wrong for asking something of me that I don't typically do. He enjoys my work and wants to make a gift for his friends. He has merely put the question out there, it was completely within my power to answer "yes" or "no." And, as nervous as I am (that's an understatement, by the way. It is causing me to literally (and I mean that in the true sense of the word, not in the way the kids are using it nowadays) question my own existence) I know I can do this. It is going to take time and patience, but it will come to pass.
My struggle with this single, yet major, piece is sending a cascade of self-destructive thoughts through my entire being. Ridiculous, no? Just draw the bloody picture, Art Monkey, and be done with it! Oh! How I wish it was as easy as that for me. Alas, this is my process. So, how do I overcome these feelings of inadequacy and doubt? I'll tell ya! I've broken my week up and designated time to all the things I (think I) need to get done. I currently have a few things on my plate, so I have set aside a minimum of two hours on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays to get this portrait moving. I will allow for more time, of course. The two hours is just to make sure I sit there for long enough to get something on paper. Once I get my groove on, it will snowball and the wondiferous magic that is Creativity will naturally occur.
Now, even I am thinking that six hours a week isn't much. But I need to remember that this isn't the only demand I have on my time AND it is only a starting point. So, by prioritising it on these three days, I know that there will definitely be times when I will sit at my desk with this task at hand. I will no longer be all over the place like a mad woman's hair. I have structure. And heaven knows I love structure. Truly. I'm not being sarcastic about that. Structure is da bomb!
Anyway, back on track. Now that I feel I have lots of little milestones to achieve, and not just one massive MUST FINISH ALL THE THINGS!, I know I have this in the bag. I figure, with the time I have set aside this week, I can get a rough outline of the piece... hopefully. The positioning of the people, at least. This gives me such relief. You know, like when you're busting for the loo so bad that you start doing the Anxious Dance, only to sit down and finally let go of everything you've been holding on to? Yeah. Good times.
So, yeah! I'll check in with y'all in the near future with some good news!
May the force be with you.